How can I tell my girlfriend that I like to wear women’s underwear during sex?
DEAR DEIDRE: HOW DO I tell my new girlfriend that I like to wear women’s underwear during sex?
I’m afraid she’ll run a mile or laugh in my face.
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She’s 33, I’m 35, and we’ve been dating for three months.
Sex with her is fine, but it’s been pretty docile so far.
My ex was really adventurous. We’ve done everything from hot wax play to BDSM and threesomes.
But what really turned me on was when we both dressed in sexy lingerie, like stockings and suspenders.
Not only do I love the way they look on women, but I love the feel of the material against my skin.
So how can I be honest without scaring her off?
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s natural to be nervous about sharing your fetishes with your partner. You are the one who opens up and is vulnerable.
It’s best to have this conversation when you both feel comfortable and are unlikely to be interrupted.
Also avoid doing it right after sex, because she might take your comments as meaning that you weren’t satisfied.
Rather than blurting it out, start with something like, “I feel like I can trust you, so I want to share something personal. This will help set the right tone for the conversation.
I send you my support pack, Fetish Worries, which explains in more detail.